How speeddating works
When you write a dating blog, speed dating is part of the territory.And so for the last 2 years, I’ve attended more speed dating events than I can count. ‘Elite’ speed dating, silent speed dating, blind speed dating, paper bag speed dating, cycle speed dating, literary speed dating … But no matter the gimmick, it always seems to come down to the same brutal truth. Speed dating originated in 1998, and was set up by an American rabbi, as a way for young, single Jewish people to meet one another.The unfortunate reality of singles events (and this applies all over the world) is that women will always attend.But as the years have gone on, the popularity of speed dating has dwindled … Unfortunately, the reality of modern-day speed dating, is that whilst most of the events take place in bars, the general crowd, particularly the men, are not people who are comfortable in bars.The very nature of speed dating means you have a captive audience.
And so you often end up with a load of attractive, sociable women, talking to more awkward, a-sociable men, who they would never normally speak to. The guys (who most often turn up awkwardly on their own) are out of their depth, and the women end up disappointed.
I’ve seen women walk out of speed dating events before they even start.
I’ve even seen a woman raise her score sheet above her head at the end of the night, and demonstratively rip it to shreds … I’ve seen men break down in tears, struggle to find conversation topics to last 4 minutes, and most recently one guy admitted he came regularly to speed dating events because it’s the only time women will talk to him!
Even if you aren’t the most socially confident person, speed dating can be more of a bane, because the nature of it – a short 4 or 5 minute judgment, sitting face on with a stranger in a forced environment – can make it feel like an interview, and make you even more nervous and awkward.
A member of the opposite sex has to talk to you for at least four minutes, and so this encourages the most nervous types of daters.
People who wouldn’t normally approach the opposite sex in the real world. But the problem with speed dating, is that often the women who are attracted to speed dating events are VERY different to the men.