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Lying, cheating, passive, arrogant, rude, selfish—the list goes on and on.Some women have a hard time believing there are still good guys out there, so they settle for men who treat them poorly.But what I would say to these women is to stop simply complaining about the “jerks” in your life and instead do something about it. I know they’re out there, because I interact with them every single day through my blog and through the churches, colleges and conferences I visit.Take responsibility for your relationships by investing your time in people who value you.There are plenty of times in the Christian life that we are called to invest and pour ourselves into others without expecting anything in return, but the outset of a romantic relationship is not one of those times.If someone is giving too little, why waste another moment trying to convince them to give more?
Questions like: The easy answer to the above questions would be to write more and more articles to these types of men telling them to give more, to ask more, to get healthier, to become stronger, to be godlier ... And there may be some truth in those sort of answers.
But I think by answering the above questions in that way, we’re missing something pretty big: It seems to me that in some Christian circles, we have created a culture that tells single women that they must wait on men to make the first move, that they should give the brunt of responsibility in relationships to the man.
Another thing that comes up again and again is the idea of women who feel that they give too much and men who, they feel, give too little.
But partly, I think this is also a representation of the kind of relationships some women allow themselves to engage in.
I recently did a dating Q&A online, and out of the hundreds of questions submitted, I started noticing a theme that made me sad.
Question after question, I was hearing from women with similar concerns.